día 135 de la depresión: muucho, richard

Las American Princesses están mal porque sus príncipes se quedan sin trabajo. Armaron un blog bastante patético contando lo terrible que es tener que cocinar en tu casa ahora que tu FGB (Finance Guy Boyfriend) no puede costear tus gastos. Una de ellas directamente le cortó, y decidió venir a hacer la (Sud)América:

I had made my demands known and was keeping count. When 60 days passed without me having a real orgasm (ladies you know the difference), I decided he had been given fair notice and that this was no way to go through my twenties. I packed his cuff-links and sent him to live on his buddy’s couch. Fortunately, I had the Bar to focus on and no mental room left to lament the demise of my relationship. I took the Bar, drank myself into oblivion, and headed to South America for a much needed vacation.

Evacuating the city was the best thing I could have done. I missed being aggressively pursued. I wanted to feel desirable again. The men of South American did not disappoint. There is nothing like the machismo culture to make you feel like a hot young thang. Feminism be d*mned.

Anyhow, I was out to dinner with my girlfriend in Buenos Aires and accidentally caught eyes with a man at a table across from mine. Before leaving the restaurant, I stopped by the ladies room to touchup my makeup. Unbeknownst to me, I was being followed. I walked out of the ladies room and he was standing there waiting for me. Bypassing formalities, he deftly pinned me against the wall, pulled my hair back with just the right amount of force, and kissed me like I had never been kissed before. Eventually, I extracted myself from his clutch and asked if he spoke English. He did. Feigning indignation, I said, “Listen, where I come from you don’t stick your tongue down a stranger’s throat. Just who do you think you are!”.

He coolly retorted, “My name is Ricardo, and where I come from if a man makes eyes with a woman like we did and doesn’t approach her, he’s gay.” We obviously were going home with each other. I had to see how this sort of aggressiveness played out in the bedroom.